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Why do I chose to do what I’m doing?

October 4, 2012

My job gave me a lot of opportunity to interact with people, and this got me thinking a lot on human behaviors. And this topic had been bothering me recently.

Every time I goes on job, people will ask, why do you choose to join this industry?

And I’ve been hearing the most common answer “the money is good.” So common that I stop asking myself why I chose to interview for the job, and just answer because it pays well. But then, it kinda strike me, no, it don’t pay that well.

Yes, I admit. I am earning more than my fellow classmates. But then the truth is, it is not a lot of money. You see what it advertise, and that’s my earning. Some days, a little more, but most days, just that amount. And for me, it’s much much enough as compare to the days I was in Make Up Store. And I am able to save quite a bit now, so I have no complains. That’s not the point today too.

The point is why do I chose this job.

Those people who chose the job for the money, I don’t see any passion in the answer, and indeed no passion for the job. They work so many years, just for the money yet they don’t enjoy the job. What for, seriously. I’d a senior who I went New Delhi with. And I totally disagreed with him. He came around and keep telling us to remain on the job because what is passion all about. I believe that when we are doing something we like, even if we earn just enough, I will also give up a high paying job for it. It got me thinking and thinking and thinking.

And from today onward, I will stop replying for the money.

It’s not all about money. This is a dream. Every little kid dream. The dream that belongs to a little girl and boy, I’m living a dream, his and mine. I may not stay long, this is not where my passion lies, but it’s one little dream that I fulfill.

A lot of them says “The world doesn’t revolve around you. Don’t change the world for you, change yourself to suit the environment.” But I realize the world doesn’t revolve around money too. This job is a dream job of every child. People paint it ugly with money. And I’m not gonna try to change the world for what they choose to think. I will just live happily in this little dream of us because I was given the chance to.

Micro bubbles cleanser

November 2, 2011

Okay, I know I have been missing for some time, but I’m back. I’m sorry for the disappearing though you have been checking my blog out for update. Oops. But I’m back for good right. And hopefully I will be still updating.

I guess I’ll go back to basic, Step 1 cleansing. I do love my Shu uemura’s cleansing oil. You won’t understand my love for it until you hear this: I have stocked a total of near 50 bottles of it and I have 3 sets of the collectors bottles unused. HEHE. But the saddest thing is, the formula is too strong for my skin 😦 and it causes breakouts on my skin. HOW SAD. And yes, I don’t want to lug around the street with pimples all over my face, therefore I stop using them, and they are my mom’s favorite possession.

One of the question I always get from my customer is even if I don’t use makeup, do I need to cleanse my face, and the answer is definitely YES! Cleansing in the morning get rid of any dead skin cells and slag transported to the surface of the skin during the night. And of course at night, you cleanse to remove any makeup AND impurities such as dirt, exhaust fumes or other contamination of the skin. So even if I’m out the whole day without makeup, I will still cleanse my face no matter what. And the thing about leaving house with bare face, I could wash my face every now and then I go to the toilet, that is good for the skin.

In the market, there’s lotsa cleanser. Oil based, Milk based, Foam based, Powder based. One of my favorite move is to use my eye cleanser to cleanse my face. The reason is eye removers are more gentle and more delicate ingredients are placed in the remover to suit the eyes, therefore, I feel it is much better for my skin. Beside using eye remover, I like foam based cleanser.

MAKE UP STORE’s Intensive Foam Cleanser

One thing about foam cleanser is that it contains micro bubbles. Microbubbles are bubbles smaller than one millimetre in diameter, but larger than one micrometre.

Micro bubbles

Once you have the foam on your skin, these micro bubbles will start cleansing your skin/pores even if you aren’t touch it. So I get a cleaner skin with lesser touches of the skin.

And that’s all for now. See ya on the next post.

the first

June 6, 2011

this is the first combination that I did for the facebook. Anyway it’s not up yet, but is my favorite.

Make Up Store Cybershadow: Sapphire (Centre – Dark Red), Bourdeaux (Purple), Ra (Yellow)
Make Up Store Eyedust: Fantasy Blush (Red)
Eyeliner – Dolly Wink Black Liquid)

The unspoken love for u

March 12, 2011

When I was a kid, I always remember this man who are always there for the family. Be it family gathering, be it just a meal, he will always be there. When adults asked me to address him, I didn’t know what to call him, so I followed my cousins and address him as “Ah Gong”(grandpa in chinese)

This dark, thin with a mixture of black and white balding hair man, he’s always wearing the simplest attire with the usual hairstyle. Always there, sitting by a side, looking at us kids playing, fearing that any of us will injure ourselves. And when we make a silly mistake, he will be the first to rush to us, with a laughter. I remember his laugh, eyes as small as a line, showing his white teeth, and his laughter Ho Ho ho.

As times grew by, our interaction gets lesser and lesser. Once in a while, I will see him. The last few times when I get to see him more is during por por (grandmother)’s funeral. Though I was crying like mad, confuse like mad, he’s there, making sure everything goes well.

In my life, it has always been non-blood related kinship vs blood related kinship. I am not against my own family members but the thing is I have too good relationship with the other side of the family. Complicated older generation problems, no one can change them. We’re born with it, I’m born with it. The thing is, we made a different by ignoring the blood related term, and love each other like we are a real family.

Por por was one of the greatest thing that can happened in my life. Her selfless love, her motherly care, her not asking for anything in return scarifies, I had never seen someone like her. Yu Lee jie jie was the other. Her sisterly love will always linger with us, the short yet good memories that we shared will never be erased from any of ours mind. And ah gong… I always longs for a grandpa. He proved to me that there is still love in between of people. We never ask for any help from him but he’s always there for us. I felt the love, always.

Though I don’t spend a lot of time with him, though he’s just a figure that I always notice but not paying much attention to… All I want to say, you’re one of the greatest man I had met in my life. Your selfless character touches me and will always be remember. This marks the end of the suffering you had for the past few months, and it marks the journey of you here. The world is better on the other side. Por por is there, yu lee jie jie too. We will be fine over here. We will get through this pain and live on our lives, don’t worry. If there’s one person that makes a different in my life, you are on the list, on the very top too. I will never forget you, as the man always running around in my life, assisting every single thing goes well behind the scene.

Good bye ah gong.
12th March 2011

the deepest scar…

January 4, 2011

I remember lying on the same bed, staring at the same celling and B asked me one question that took me aback. He asked “If one day J comes back to you, what will you do?” I never did have the answer to reply him.

A lot of people likes to say that I have very high expectation for my boyfriend. But it has never occur to me that my expectation are very high. I came from a very open minded family. My parents believe that man and woman are equal in this society. And so I equally believe that whatever man can do, woman can do it too. And so the only expectation I have is I want to be have a equal standing with my man. I did work hard and got myself into poly. I tried my best in RP to make good used of my 3 years. And I climbed my way to the position I am in now, I’m going into my 6th year of service in the company. I believe I do deserve the equal standing position in the society.

But deep down, I was hurt very badly once. Someone wasn’t even proud of what I have and even left me for my achievements. I was so badly hurt that I almost fell into depression. I lose all my self-confident, my determination to even do things that I love. I don’t want to do anything except hiding myself for the world. All that was in my mind was how could I make the guy I love feel so intimidated by my achievements. How can I make him feel so stress to the point he can’t take it and leave me. I blame myself for his departure. I was so lost, so helpless, I couldn’t handle. That period was the lowest I can ever go through.

The scar will always be there. The wound will never heal by itself. I will never forget the reason he left me. I told myself I will never allow my love to feel the same. And I will protect my self confident and determination forever. From then on, I never believe that love can conquer everything.

To the next person who thinks that I have high expectation, I didn’t ask for a lot. I didn’t ask for celebrities look alike features, I didn’t ask for mountain high dollars bills. I didn’t ask for 5Cs. All I ask for is someone to accept me for who I am. I just need an assurance, that I don’t go through what I went through. I don’t see how wrong I am in protecting myself, after all, I’m still a human being. I’m selfish too, I’m not wonder woman, I need to protect myself, because I will still feel pain, and get hurt. I will cry…

my little dream

December 21, 2010

A few years ago, when I studied ecotourism, one of my colleague actually introduced me to this man, Al Gore, who is the vice president of US under President Bill Clinton and the DVD, An Inconvenient Truth. That was the moment I fell in love with environmental activities.
I know that with my own effort, I can’t do much to save the Earth, but with another person’s effort, we can at least reduce a little of damage to the Earth. And with this amount * many many other, we can prolong the lives of the homes of ours.
Anyway, it’s not about me now. A few weeks ago, I was watching a travel program, and I saw this introduction of Hamilton Island and there is this island care taker Ben. All of us knows that he has one of the best job in the world, so I’m not going into how nice his job is. The thing that touches me the most and made me cry right in front of the computer is how noble he is to the environment. He says that after stepping down from the position, he will be continuing it. To go to every part of Australia and continuing it.
Human human, the ironic thing that kept me thinking was how come there is a group of people who spend that 70 years of their lives being mean and evil just for money. And how come there’s this group of people who spend their life asking for nothing in return just to save our home.
You see, if I tell you, I want to give up what I have now in Singapore and pack my bags to travel around just to help people, help this environment, I gained experience and a brand new world that I never notice, but I don’t get fame nor money in return as compare to those who choose to stay in their comfort home and continue to harm the environment. In fact, I have to throw in my own money for my transportation, accommodation and everything. I just find them very noble as compare to those who live their lives going after monetary values.
I have a dream, I changed. I don’t want fame nor success. I don’t want big houses nor diamond rings. I just want to go to see the world before it is being destroyed. This is my dream and I am doing my part to save my dream. How about you?
Anyway, you can find the island caretaker blog at


December 21, 2010

Dear C’est la vie,

I’m sorry that I’d been ignoring you all this while. I really didn’t mean it to leave you empty all this months, just that I need inspiration to write things, and I really don’t have much time left on hand to think of what I should do to you. Moreover, new media like fb and twitter has too over your  place in my life. I know I am forgiven. But I promise to write something every now and then alright.

To my readers, if you’re my follower on twitter, I’m sure that you’ve heard that I ha moved out of counter, head into office to do advertising. I’ve a strong feeling that C’est la vie will head towards my work scope too, so if you doesn’t like the new content, be sure to inform me alright.



till the next post, we shall meet.