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How much I hated RP…

October 11, 2010

Last Friday, I had a meet up with Wee to visit Berline, and of course as graduates, we talked about the future, which university we had in mind, and of  course who who who are in which school. We were talking about SIM, which is the school that Ber intended to go, and my 1st reaction was “Why SIM when your gpa is like 3+++” and in return, I got a reply that was so shocking I couldn’t accept. “Because we are RP graduates.”

Recently I met someone new, and when I told him that my result was top 8 of the whole course, his reaction was like “RP is so easy, whether a not you are top 8, it doesn’t matter.”

I remembered, 4 years ago, on the morning of the posting of school was released, my mom dragged me out of bed to check my result, I swear, my 1st reaction when I saw I was posted to RP Diploma in Micro and Nano Technology was I am going back to sleep, and when I am awake, I am SO GONNA APPEAL OUT OF RP. RP, eeek, lousy school, I want to go NP. But my mom stopped me from appealing. I told myself that if I don’t appeal, I am gonna regret my whole life.

So, with a very reluctant heart, I dragged myself to Freshman Orientation Camp 2007, my very 1st camp. I met ZhengWen that morning, and I was complaining how lousy I feel not appealing to go to NP. Stepping into W45H, and looking at those faces, half my heart went back home. Eeek, the only thing that appeal to me was the full air-coned campus that I have. And PBL, what the hell does problem based learning was. 1st day of class orientation ended, and I really don’t understand what is the function of Leo, and doesn’t RP has no exams?

Seriously,  I didn’t want to attend the rest of the days of camp, I hate camps when I was in secondary school. I feel that it’s so stupid, and asking me to spend days playing games with strangers, and acting as though we knew each other long ago, IT IS SO NOT ME. But since I don’t have a choice, why not I give FOP another chance, if the 2nd day is still so boring, I am not going for the 3rd day. So I was there, standing without any friends (They flew me aeroplanes) hot and sweaty in the line of group 13 at RP badminton hall. So sad. The year’s theme was prison break, and my seniors were all in well designed jail jumpers. And with the leadership of Shafiq and Rahim, with my wonderful teammates of SEG 13, my poly life took a turn.

FOP opened my eyes to how much bonding it can bring to people from all walks to life. RP war cry taught me how with one common goal, it can bring everyone, even if the number is in thousands to work together. (I was really touched with how students gathered together to get the right war cry, and performed during opening of RP. It was the proudest moment ever, when I was told, everyone eyes was on RP team, when they started doing the War Cry.) Camp no longer need excuses to run away.

Problem based learning had taught me a lot of things. When I was in primary school, I’m a prefect. When I was in secondary school, I am a peer supporting leader. All my life, I am leading others. And when I started Poly, the first role I took was to lead. I never want to be a follower. But PBL taught me how to follow. I was a very stubborn person. I want it my way, I definitely want it my way. And I am a talker, not a listener. PBL taught me to listen, and it shows me that different people has their strengths and weaknesses. I learned how to use people strength to get things done within the given time. And I learned better time management. I never forget this lesson, you will never get a dream team of yours, learn to work with different kind of people. I had met good, nice, cunning, lazy, take advantage of, selfish, selfless and all sort of people. And amazingly, people of 45H actually leads me to think out of the box, and keep questioning why, and in return I learn more than I actually expected. I could say learning hasn’t been so fun before I entered Poly.

I went into poly with 3 goals. 3 goals that I think wasn’t easy to achieve. 1. to attend a freshman orientation camp. 2. To attend poly forum. 3. To go for a service learning trip. the 1st one was very easy to achieve since it was compulsory. I wasn’t very confident that I will achieve the 2nd and 3rd goal. But I always tell people about this 3 goals, because in RP, everyone has equal chances in every activities. RP not only gave me a chance to get into poly, RP gave me a chance to achieve my goals. I can proudly tell you that I had achieve more than I set.

When I was in year 1, I attended a Freshman orientation camp. Not only that, when I was in year 2, I became a leader of freshman orientation camp, leading my own dwar7s, and I am proud to say, my dwar7s are still with and love their blur sotong leader. My dwar7s stands by me for 3 years and still counting, and never once gave up on me despite what happened. And of course, year 3, I have my cyclops, of course my SEG12, and my dwar7s are back being leaders leading their own team. I don’t know how to describe the sense of achievement, but it was just great.

When I was in year 2, through webmail, I know that poly forum 2008 was recruiting students and there I found myself in a LT during break listening to the talk, and going through an interview. I wasn’t confident, and the waiting for the email almost break me down. But you know what, I received one of the most happiest email I can ever receive. Adding to the being able to represent RP, I got a chance to talk to my dearest principal, and I did a vase of flower and presented him out of the 60 RP-ians that was attending, and my pretty face was on the picture of Poly Forum booklet posing with Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Defence Teo Chee Hean  (oke fine, my dad knows him so what’s the big deal that I had a picture with him. -_-” but I am still proud of myself since I didn’t need my dad to come out to get a picture with him, I used my own capability oke.) And in year 3, I went on a service learning trip, one of the toughest 14 days of my life in Cambodia.

To whoever out there, so what if we are a new school and we learn through PBL? So what if we don’t have lectures, what if we don’t call exam exams, and we call them understanding test (UT)? So what if we take in high L1R4 results? So what if our timing is 8-4? So what if we don’t have projects, or attachments? And so what if we have RJ only and not homework?

If it wasn’t for PBL, I won’t learn. I will only memorize my textbooks, and just memorize it. If it wasn’t for PBL, I won’t learn more than my textbook, and I won’t be so discipline, with good time management, a listener, a follower, and a better leader. If it wasn’t RP who gave me a second chance, I won’t be a poly graduates now. And I did 2 projects for my art appreciation class apart from the 2 for fyp. Oh ya, RP gave me a chance to learn something that my parents will never allow me to learn. I had a freely chosen module, and I took art appreciation which I love. RP changes of class each semesters had brought me a lot of friends from all walks of life, doing all sort of things. If you need anyone, I can give you them, SAS, SEG, STA, CCC, CIE, SOS. I have friends from different school, different courses. RP gave me a chance to go outside of RP, and attached to A*Star, though I hated the whole attachment a lot. I did Magic, Entrepreneurship, Aeromodelling and Rock climbing IG. I even went to Tekong with my 45H, went for multiple camps, F1 (YAY, the 1st f1 race in Singapore somemore), multiple open houses, and I was part of breaking a record, world/singapore record (I don’t think other than that record, I’m capable of breaking any other records). And I could say, I worked very hard for my GPA, and being top 8, I am proud of it. RP isn’t that easy to score though. Having 93 CE points with most of it are activities that I am most willing to attend and not just for the CE points was a great achievement. And doing very well in Professional Profiling not only gave me a chance to use what I was taught in enterprise module, it has bring my confident level to a whole new level. Presenting in front of people, it hasn’t been as easy as I am now.

Before you stereotype and comment on us based on your perception of RP, please understand the situation. Ask yourself how much have you learn in your poly, and how involved your school gave you a chance to (based on my understanding, chances to attend poly forum for other school was only based on teacher’s recommendations.). How much have you achieved in your poly.

If you ask me now, if I really did appeal to get out of RP, I will definitely regret looking at my achievements and the people that I met. And if you see a RP graduate whom doesn’t have much achievements, it just means that s/he didn’t make good use of his/her 3 years which RP did gave him/her a chance to. There are definitely a lot of such RP-ian out there, but isn’t there a lot of such people too in other schools? RP is just like any other Polytechnic, so what if we are RP graduates, open your mind, accept us, give us a chance because we are capable to do what you did.


for mom.

August 22, 2010

There are a lot of times…

When I say you are not good enough for me.
When I scold you because I’m in a bad mood.
When I talk to you loudly.
When I shout at you.
When I say No to you.
When I did not protect you.
When I hung up your call.
When I made you sad and cry.
When I made you very angry.

I have to admit that I’m very fragile when it comes to you. When I think of the day you leave me, the day that I want to talk to you, but you will never reply back. When I want to feel your presences, but you disappear into thin air like granny. When you no longer wakes me up, no longer lying on the bed playing viwawa, when I wake up, and there won’t be food, no one is there to pay every bills, at that moment,  I know I won’t be able to accept.

To me, deep down, I hope I don’t love you so much. It is a pain to watch you grow old, get sick, and knowing one day you will leave me. I always hope that you are just a shadow then the pain will be lesser.

I don’t know how to put it into words about how much I love you. I wish that you aren’t sick. You won’t leave me like granny. I love you, and I really do. Sorry that I hurt you with words. Sorry for shouting at you, for saying things that I don’t mean it.

Hey, aiya, no worries! Nothing will happened to Sg lahhh.

July 20, 2010

I’m born a Singaporean, and yes, i would say that I didn’t have a choice on the citizenship that I was given, and so I accept it. I am not a fan of Singaporean style of being brought up with the attitude of kiasu and kiasi. I won’t be lining for free goodies, neither do I have the typical Singaporean thinking, but I love Singapore in a way. Singapore has given me one of the best comfortable roof to be in for 22 years. Low crime rate, low natural disaster , we have one of the best infrastructure, medical and education. I don’t actually fear that one day I step out of my house, I got a gunman pointing a gun on my head threatening to kill me.

Remember the blackout that happened years ago? 29 June 2004. My estate wasn’t really affected though the rest of the streets were dark, and i was enjoying my aircon and going to bed. Remember the countless time when we feel the shakes due to Earthquake in the neighboring country, I felt it only once, and I was still lying happily on my bed watching dramas. Ohhh, this is what Singaporean does huh.

When I first started my work in a boutique, I didn’t really have much of an experience in dealing with stuff. I remembered, when Vivocity just opened, and I was all alone doing morning shift, and suddenly, the fire alarm went off. I started panicking like mad, trying to listen for announcements from the customer service officers. I looked back, and saw the nearest exit was closed, I couldn’t stay calm. I was nervous, and I planned my route to escape. I gathered my bags, so that I can do it in time to save some of the product to minimize cost lost. And I was the only one doing it. The shoppers were enjoying their window shopping, probably some enjoyed the scene of a crazy young girl trying to plan her escape from fire. The other shop assistances were busy with their own stuff.

There is one thing I will never forget my whole life during my service learning trip to cambodia. That night, we came back into our hotel room, and because we are singaporean, who switches off the electricity when we are in a hotel. So, as usual, the 26 of us just left the aircon, fan, lights, tv, heater on. But Cambodia, the amount of electricity they have is limited, and they don’t have the card holder, that we normally see in hotels room, that stop power. And shortly after we came back, we experiences black out. Screaming were heard, and the only ones who are out of their rooms are us, and the rest of the guests were quite annoyed with our behavior.

I am not a big fan of my own country, there are things that I don’t like about Singapore. Lousy tv shows, the restriction, and yes, I hate STOMP a lot. But I am not a hater of my own country. I’m proud of Singapore hosting the 1st YOG though I find the JJ Lin song a bit ridiculous. I love Changi Airport, Sentosa, and of course Marina Bay Sand.

I call myself a Singaporean, and I don’t like my own country to be portray as some nonsense country. I always feel that the creator of STOMP should think about this topic. Hello Creator of STOMP, what is your impression of Singapore before STOMP was created, and after reading those posts on STOMP, what is your feeling towards Singapore right now? Ugly, nothing to do, rubbish, nonsense. I always wonder, why do we need a platform to showcase what are singaporean doing? And why do we need a web showing others that Singaporean students/couples having sexual/intimate time in public or young girls posting nude photo of them or some irritating ah bengs blasting music on public transports or a Ferrari turned into charcoals due to the weather or simple @smithankyou walking around town with lotso or whatever. I had seen it with my own eyes, hear it with my own ears, how STOMP actually destroy a young girl future by spreading her “news” and her into bigger drama and out of the school. So now, list me the pro of STOMP. The most ridiculous thing that happened in STOMP, that I couldn’t accept is what happened during the New Year Party. How 4 man openly molested the girl, and everyone was surrounding her, saw what happened, and busy videoing, snapping pictures of the incident instead of helping her.

I always wonder, if I am not a Singaporean, and I am planning a trip to Singapore, will i get turned off by STOMP. When I goggled “STOMP” apparently this is what I get.

So now Stomp makes it all alright for everyone to know how ugly we Singaporeans are. Wow!!!

And I always have to bear in mind what I am doing out of my house now since I have a peace of mind of robbers and murderer since Singapore ensure me a low crime rate, but now STOMP gives me a high number of STOMPERs. So I can be adjusting my bra while my BF has his hands wrapped around me just in case I get STOMPed for being too intimate with my guy. I can’t sit on MRT floors just in case I get STOMPed. WOW. Dear STOMPers, I know you guys loves to be like gossip girls, but STOMP-ing all these things, make you low class.

The thing that actually got me outraged was when my mom came back yesterday and told me one ugly truth. She told me to go to youtube and search the wave song on Orchard flooding. Grrrr. The wave song, seriously. From the previous post, I had shown you the number of people watching world cup, and I’m sure everyone certainly knows about the existence of WC. and of course beside Waka Waka, the wave song is playing everywhere. The reason why I wrote out about the fire alarm incident that happened to me, the blackout incident was to point out this point, aren’t we Singaporean too ignorant? When I was in Cambodia, we have never seen fireflies, and the locals were so surprized that 24 kids went obsessed over one firefly. We always expect nothing will happened to Singapore, and when one flooding occurs, we didn’t know what to do and we went round amazed that Singapore actually can flood. Then the 2nd flooding, (I wasn’t around so I dont know how serious it was) and we went round blaming/joking about it. We even came out with a song for it.

I dont even want that video on my blog, so this is the link.

Seriously Mr Brown, I have nothing against you. I am not a fan of you, but some times ur post certainly make me laugh and agrees with you. But this time, I am going against you. You are making me a joke in front of others, and I am not by your side. Whoever thinks that this is funny, think of yourself as a tourist, as someone seeing it before walking up a plane, flying a distance over just to enjoy shopping in orchard road. What will u react, how will u feel, and will you even want to board that plane?

Let me tell you how bad news spread to other country, one ugly fact about Singapore. 48 hours again, I just arrived back from a road trip from Malacca. I got the chance to visit Joker Street, yes, the nonya street if that rings a bell. And I went to visit a Peranakan museum where one of the scene of Little Nonya was filmed. The whole tour was all about Peranakan culture. So this tour guide was telling us about the back doors that Peranakan has, and she jokingly says “At night, wives locked the back door, and the husband only has the key to the front door to prevent husband from becoming Liang Por Por. Oh, you know, the Jack Neo’s affair, which involved 9 woman.” Wow, across the boarders, a 4 hours journey, and Jack’s news arrived in Malacca. Just for your information, there are all kinds of tourists that was with us on that tour, and here, now it is spreading. More people knows one ugly side of Singaporeans now.

I guess everyone has a right to decide how they want themselves to be portrayed, and every move on the net, determines this picture that we want to portray ourselves to be.

And let me remind you. Singapore position on the globe ensure us low natural disaster rates, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t experience natural disaster. It’s just like Singapore ensure you low crime rate, yet crime is happening everyday. Low doesn’t means no. We are just taking our peace for granted. If today, a typhoon, or a tsunami, earthquake happens in Singapore, I’m sure a lot of Singaporeans will die.  Or just a simple mall on big fire, because no one knows what to do, everyone just carry on with what we are doing at the moment and thinks “aiya, singapore so safe, won’t happened one lah.” Just like the flood. and i certainly do agree with the government urging Singaporean to not to be unrealistic that Singapore will be flood free. Singapore will never be flood free just like other countries.

The Beautiful Game

June 30, 2010

Have you ever wondered; are internationals tournaments actually a good or a bad thing?

Let me see the show of hands who watches world cup? Surprisingly, people who don’t usually are soccer fans watches them suddenly. And everyone is there for every single match. World cup is the world’s most widely viewed sporting event; an estimated 715.1 million people watched the final match of the 2006 world cup held in Germany. Wow!

Oke, let us try this. Show of hands who are those who watch world cup and didn’t bet. Oke, I am definitely guilty for this, but this was the first time I’m betting, and I bet just because Eric was betting and I bet on Portugal match just for fun, it was mere 7.50 bucks. And I don’t actually care do I win a not since all I want was Portugal to get through.

I find it ironic and maybe I don’t know. A lot of people watch it because they are betting. Have it slowly became a very wrong thing to hold these types of international tournaments. Every 4 years, we have multiple news about illegal bookie getting caught, people start borrowing money for everyone to pay those debts, and people keep asking around, “who do you think will win huh?” “What scores you predicting for tonight match?” Everywhere you go, face to face, on the phone, you definitely hear someone talking about betting. I definitely experience that every day for the previous 3 weeks.

And I actually have real life example of friends becoming bookie runner during this period. I also have people betting through Singapore pool, through bookies. I have friends who won almost 10k in the beginning, and losing 20k at the end. 20k, can u imagine people my age, where do you find 20k to repay this debt? Oke, to you maybe 20k is just nothing, but to me, 20k is a lot of money. I have friends throwing 3k into each match. If 20k is a lot of money, definitely 3k is a lot to me too. 3k, I can buy lotsa clothes, I can go on a holiday, I can freaking get a branded bag. I have people calling me asking for websites to stream the matches, also some calling me in the middle of the night, while I am napping for the 2.30am match asking me for who will win. Even at 3am to ask me do I think bookie still taking in bet.

Oke, as you know I don’t have cable at home, but I do watch EPL every now and then if I can. I do take note of soccer news, so I guess I am not a person who watches world cup only. People was surprise that I caught every match and I have people asking me “Gwen, why do you even bother to watch every single match when you don’t even bet?” My only answer I got for them is that “Is my passion for soccer.” And it definitely makes me sound like an idiot.

But the thing is isn’t international tournament held for the passion for the sport? So why do we make it seems like a bad thing? Why do we even go and bet for the winner? Why do we watch just because we placed money in it? To say the truth, I find it ridiculous and a waste of time for these type of people spending 100 minutes of their life watching 22 guys chasing a ball. Really. Go get something else to do, it is better. Moreover, I find it an insult to the guys playing, also training so hard every day, and get condemned since they assisted you in losing money. How beautiful this tournament is, where 32 countries comes together and play a game that we all love. How often do we see all 736 world class best players come together to share the joy of the game. And definitely we get to see the world. Of course, when do we unite as one, without wars and disputes, and watch the same game, be it in the stadium, at coffee shop, restaurant, or at home. Don’t you actually find this a beautiful event ever created, why do we even attempt to pull in money and paint a ugly side to it?

This definitely doesn’t just apply to world cup, it includes EPL, euro cup but especially world cup since we see an increase of betting suddenly during this period.

How Traditional are you?

June 25, 2010

The environment that I grew up in, is always woman has equal rights in bringing up the family as compare to the man. My grandma was alone, bringing up my uncle and mother. My mom and dad are both working, bringing in money to support the family. Decision were made by both of them. And financially was controlled by my mom. So when we goes out to eat, shop, party, mom is always the one paying.

But traditionally, the guys are the one paying. Drama after dramas, dates are always portraying the guys are the one paying for it. When I started group dating, I offered to pay, but was turned down by the boys. My gfs even told me “Don’t be silly gwen, let the guys play while we enjoy our times.”

If you knows me really well, I have something against this thinking. Oke, if it is my birthday, a surprize u gave me, a celebration for me, an anniversary you planned, I don’t mind the guy paying. But if you are gonna meet me 31 days per month, at least a meal per day, a movie per week, can you imagine how much money he is spending on me.

Let us take for example, bf and I. My bf is someone who enjoys eating which explain the amount of fats on him. HAHAHA. He hardly eats fastfood, and even hawker centers he will always order side dishes. And of course he enjoys fine dining the most. He, even a hawker center meal can cost him 20 bucks and above. This is my dearest bf. Imagine the amount of money we are spending every month on food alone. tah da.

Bf and I works in a system. Very seldom he will make me pay for dates. But very often I will snatch payment with him. So bf and I came into an agreement. He pays for dining, I pays for entertainment. Yes of course he is earning more than I do and spending more than I do on shopping. But the point is, we are on equal terms because when we goes out, movies popcorns ktv or any form of entertainment, the gf pays. And when we dine out, the bf pays. but there are times when we switches roles and snatch each other responsibilities. HAHAHA.

What’s wrong with this? I actually sees no wrong in it. Girls, girls, girls, woman, woman, woman. It is 2010 already, we have the ability to work, to earn money, why must we depend on these guys? Seriously. I’m not looking down on guys right now. But I come from a quite well to do family background. I’m financially stable since young. When I was in secondary school, I’m taking more pocket money than most of them. See. And the money that the guys are taking are their parents hard earned money, not that mine isn’t, so we should all use the money wisely on ourselves. And now, I’m working, I’m financially supporting myself, I have the ability, so why must I be dependent on guys?

Oke, let’s move on.
I’m gonna contradict whatever I just say to bring across another point to you all. There I goes. I’m fine with the though of you thinking guys should be paying for dates. oke, let me explain, if you think that way, I can’t stop you. I can’t tell you “no no no, girls should be paying or go on dutch.” No, I can’t. But there’s one thing I hate about it.

Girls are known as money sucker when they goes out with the guy and the guy are paying for it.

And guess what, these are usually said by guys. Guys, guys, guys, you wanna date a girl. You wanna pay. You wanna talk. What do you wanna. Oke you can talk, no problem, but don’t generalize every girls into it. Maybe this is another reason why I will insist on paying for myself. Why must I give you a topic to say about me when I am not one of them.

This is just like the same thing about guys + more sex experience/partners = good. girls + more sex experience/partners = whore.

It goes the same as guys + armpit hair = hot. girls + armpit hair = gross

HAHA, I like this. Guys + visible boxers/no underwear = sexy. Girls + visible panty/gstrings/no underwear = chao geng + no no.

World world world, is it time to give some equity to woman now? we should be in equilibrium (oke, too much of micro and nano stuff)!!!

Anyway, I am not that traditional after all. There’s some stuff that I feel that it should be kept traditionally. Like baby after marriage which means no shotgun marriage for me, no speed dating for me, I hate the “no status” relationship status. Yes, i just contradict myself again. Bf and I am in a open relationship status but then we are still very tradition mah. We are in a relationship, madly in love with each other, he is my bf, i am introduced as his gf. Just that I don’t dare to commit because I think I’m too young for him. But we have a 4 years agreement. And we are not finding another one, dating someone else except for each other. So I think we are in a “open” relationship and the open can close anytime.

And I am very tradition in, guys should always takes the first move. Be it asking me to be his gf, first holding of hands, first hug, first kiss, first sms, first call, first email, whatever it is, it must be the guy doing it first. but to compensate to it, the only thing I don’t thinks guys should do is, always apologize first.

La Forza del Destino

June 22, 2010

I stood in front of the mirror, I stared at my reflections. All that is flooding in my mind is I want to make him mine. It is as if there’s a monster(he calls himself La Forza del Destino), a fierce and dominating one, keep whispering into my ear, “I want to make him mine.” The next moments, I felt droplets of liquid flowing out of my tear glands on my cheeks all because I know I can’t make him mine.

It had never crossed my mind to kill that monster that is now screaming in my ears. It is still the same sentence. The reason is I want to do what the monster says. I want to make him mine. I want him. I want to hug him, kiss him, fuck him, marry him, have his baby, grow old with him. I just want to make him mine.

Have you ever wonder, what is inside the real law of attractions between human?
A person meets another person.
They both caught each other attention.
They talked.
They hugged.
They kissed.
They fucked.
And there they are, part of each other life.
They start to open up.
They talk about everything that happened during the day.
They meet each other’s family and friends.
They shared everything. Food, utensils, drinks, toothbrush, cars, house, money anything they need.
How long can they maintain like this?

Some call it fate. Some calls it destiny.
Some call it love.
Some can’t live without it.
Some live happily without it.
Some toy around with it.

So what’s yours?

I belong to the 1st group, the group who can’t live without it.
It doesn’t matter which group you belongs to.
The question is, are you happy?

My answer.
No I’m not… Because I told a lie.
I just did what the I was told to.


June 1, 2010